Everything you have, and everyone you know.
Now when I think back, the memories are still clear in my mind.
But somehow i forget, Why?
Is it because it is not important anymore?
Or is it because precious memories are meant to keep at heart?
In my 21 years, i have to say...
I dont have many close friends, a.k.a BFF.
I used to think that friends leave as we grow up,
and we will never have any Best Friends Forever.
Nope, i never believed Forever exists in any way.
But something changed me, and I dont even remember what did...
Next thing you know, I have this 4 important friends, my BFFs.
Though we don't see each other that much,
or talk to each other that much...
But i know for sure, our friendship will last forever.
I used to think i'll die alone when im old,
or i'll die of cancer, accident, murdered??
(LOL) I think a lot...I think too much, as always. =)
But someone changed me, and changed my life.
A great influence he is, and a great boyfriend he was.
He was the first one I really fell in love with,
and actually made me believe our love will be Forever.
Of course that didn't happen.
Not only that, his absence changed my whole life.
My attitude, my dressing, my personality, my...everything.
I cannot say that the break up was the right thing to do,
because I do regret it sometimes.
But, it was good for me. It changed my expects of life,
and perceptions about many things, including relationship.
Do you think that sometimes, somehow the ones that you love,
or the ones that truly love you, leaves you?
It happens to me all the time.
Not only i am talking about the people,
sometimes even the things I like the most,
or I treasure the most, I'll loose it somehow.
I'm afraid about this happening again so much,
and now I don't even dare to love anyone THAT much.
I'm afraid one day they'll leave me.
Leaving is not the hardest part actually.
The hardest part is when you find out tons of lies that you cant even imagine.
I, as a girl who already thinks too much,
cant even think that someone would do something like that.
But we all just gotta accept the ugly truths, right?
Maybe I should stop giving people too many chances.
Chances I give are not appreciated.
They won't think is a chance to change,
But another chance for them to do it again and try to make the perfect cover up.
When most of them know I'm too hard to be blinded.
I can only see,
I can only listen,
I can only believe,
I can only try,
I can only trust,
I can only hope,
I can only wish,
I can only dream...
that much, to keep myself away from those awful things happening again.
P.S Follow your instincts
